You don't have to share your blog with your mom

Nov 10, 2020

You have important and meaningful stories to tell, and you want to tell them online.

Most likely, you want to help people who are going through the same challenging experiences you've gone through. You want to share the wisdom you've learned, so the experience can be easier for your reader.

Your audience are the people who have been through the same thing as you. They are the ones you are writing to.

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Sometimes, however, the stories you want to share with your online audience are stories you don't want to share with people you see everyday.

  • You might want to share intimate stories you would hate for a colleague to read.
  • You might want to share stories of a troubled time in the past you never told your mother about.
  • You might want to talk about something personal your family or friends tease you for, even though it's truly meaningful for you.

Imagining how these certain people would respond to your stories fills you with self-doubt and stops you from hitting publish, even though not writing has gotten to be too painful.

You have a passion and calling to help your people. You need to write, but you just can't stand the thought of certain people reading your work. 

There is a simple solution for this. It might be a little controversial, but here's my take: It's totally ok to not tell your family about your blog.

You don't have to show it to your mom, your boss, your friends, or anyone you would hate to have read it.

Your blog is YOUR'S. YOU get to decide who to share it with and when.

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Of course, writing online is generally a public activity. So, how do you write online and keep your work private from some people? Let me tell you what I do.

I'm estranged from my family (by choice). I don't want them to be a part of my online audience. To feel safe sharing personal stories I've created extra layers of privacy around my work.

When I post on social media, I use Facebook Groups where I have the ability to accept or decline group members.

As a blogger I use a pseudonym. Veritas is not my real last name. :) This means someone can't Google my real name and find my website.

I love sharing my writing via email newsletter, where I can see the list of folks who are here, and where I can remove anyone who isn't safe for me to write to.

It makes me feel safe and happy to write to defined groups of people where I have the power to accept or decline the group members. This privacy is one of the things that helps me keep writing to the people who could use my help, ie, YOU.

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Your situation might not be as intense as mine. It might just be a little awkward for certain people to read your stories, even though you don't want to be estranged from these people.

In this case, it is still totally ok to not tell those people about your work, and the same online privacy tools apply.

You can try any of the tools I listed above to see if they feel authentic to you. You can also research the privacy tools of the platforms where you enjoy publishing, and play around with the tools that are offered.

If the technology feels overwhelming or unnecessary, you can try the very simple method of just not mentioning your blog to people who might make you have a relapse of self-doubt.

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The kind of writing we are here to do is vulnerable. It can be emotionally challenging, and it can be a hard battle to find the confidence to do it.

It's 100% ok to protect this process from experiences that will make you want to stop writing.

For example, don't share your writing with someone in your life who has always been a wet blanket. If they've only ever criticized you, then don't share your fledgling project with them.

This is absolutely ok to do. Beyond being ok, it is a beautiful and healthy boundary, and it might be the exact step you need to start writing and help your audience.

One last thing, this is not the same thing as hiding your voice, because you will still share your work with your intended audience. This is about taking care of the precious work you are here to do, so you can experience the unique fulfillment of living your purpose.

xoxo,

Emma

P.S. Share this letter with someone you know who hesitates to write because they are afraid of their family reading their posts!

P.P.S. If your limiting beliefs are stopping you from writing, it's time for a Confidence Booster Pack. Your message is important. It could change the course of someone's day or even their life. It's time to get started. Order a Confidence Booster Pack today!

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