What to do when you're scared to take the leap

Nov 16, 2021

Many people tell me I'm brave, because I've taken a few big leaps in my life, like the kind of leaps where you burn your current life to the ground and start everything over again.

I moved away from my homeland of New England to California, where I knew no one except my husband (who moved with me) and we had no place to live.

I quit my soul-killing job and started my own business, without knowing if there would be success in the end.

I went no-contact with my abusive family, without knowing who I would be without them in my life.

These were big, courageous things to do, and because of that people sometimes think I don't experience a lot of fear.

What they don't know, is that I pretty much have a constant ball of anxiety in my belly, like all the time. I'm  scared of so many things, and I jump to the worst conclusions in a millisecond.

The other day it was raining hard, and in my mind a tree was definitely going to fall on our house.  I was really, really scared...of the rain. Sooooo...yeah.

When I was a little kid, I was scared of anything if I didn't know what it was, and that meant basically everything.

One time we were at the beach and somebody mentioned the tide coming in. My reaction:  "MOM, WHAT THE HELL IS A TIDE AND HOW IS IT GOING TO KILL ME????"

Another the time we drove out of Boston on the Massachusetts Turnpike. My reaction to the word turnpike: "WHAT'S A TURNPIKE AND WHAT FRESH HELL IS IT GOING TO VISIT UPON US?????"

Fear was a central feature of my childhood, and I live with it everyday still. So when I think about these big leaps I've taken, I'm amazed. How the hell did I do that? 

My friends and clients wonder about this too, because they want take big leaps and do brave and courageous things, like write something they really think, feel, or believe on the internet!

When I look back on the leaps I've taken, what I know is that I supported myself in a way that worked really well for my particular personality.

In my astrological birth chart, my moon is in Aries, which means I find safety in action. My Myers Briggs personality type is ENFP, which means Authenticity is my best decision making process.

What works for me is practicing turning inward and then taking action based on my inner truth.

As I packed my bags for California, I kept telling myself again and again that I made that decision from my most authentic self so everything was going to be ok. The same was true for starting my business and going no-contact with my family.

This might work for you too, but you also might have different needs depending on your unique personality type.

If your moon is in Capricorn, for example, you might find emotional safety in working really hard. Your safety comes less from just taking action and more from the feeling of perseverance. If you're an INFJ, your best decision making process is Harmony, where you make decisions based on what is good for everyone (and "everyone" includes YOU.)

So, here's what I can say. If you have a leap you want to take that scares you, my best suggestion based on my experience is to get to know your authentic self and needs better.

You could go to personalityhacker.com to take a personality type test and learn about your best decision making process.

You could go to chaninicholas.com to get your birth chart and learn about your moon sign.

The more I learn about unique personalities the more I understand that what works for one of us doesn't necessarily work for all of us.

Getting to know yourself better means that you can know if lying around and watching nostalgic TV is your best self-care while doing a scary thing or if going outside and pulling weeds is your best self-care. 

Take the time to learn more about your unique way of being and try out one or two of the suggestions from these experts. My hunch is knowing your individual needs could help a lot as you begin to take action on your leap.

I'm wishing you all the best as you continue to do things that scare you but that also make your life better.



P.S. I would love for you to join me and an amazing group of writers in The Courageous Bloggers Society, where we meet twice a month for live Writing & Coaching Workshops to help you discover your authentic message and build the confidence to write online and share your voice with the world.

P.P.S. My amazing friend and writing client, Gina Puorro, just took a huge leap and self-published her first book of poetry, The Wild Will Call You Back. Gina, this is epically amazing. Congratulations!!!


Do What You Are Meant To Do


For when you're totally freaking out about being stuck in your Dull Gray Cubicle job forever!!!